Healthy love

I'm reading a book and doing a bible study that has been a real eye and heart opener
The chapter I'm on talks about how we make the mistake of counting on others to make us feel whole when it's God who is the only one who can do that It doesn't mean we're not to have other relationships... actually the opposite "God is truly enough, but our lives were never intended to be confined to solitary interaction with God and no one else..we were made by God to crave the affection of others. We were made for relationship. We were made for the community of other human beings."
The mistake often made is that we think that other person we love could,would, or should make us whole. The following is a list of healthy and mature vs. unhealthy and immature


Healthy and Mature

Based on trust--words and actions are expressed
consistently and honestly

Open sharing of feelings

Feels free to ask honestly for what is needed
and wanted..

Serving each other with passion

Welcomes closeness and is willing to risk being
vulnerable

Free to enjoy solitude and alone time without
the other

Gives/receives unconditionally

Maintains other friendships and relationships
without a threat

Does not attempt to change the other

Unhealthy and immature

Feels all-consuming with the pressure to
be someone to please the other

Based on distrust and fear- feel the need
to guard yourself with the other person

Closed emotionally Shut down Controlling
and afraid of criticism

Plays psychological head games trying to fish
for hidden secrets

Sense that you are being appeased

Fears closeness and sees vulnerability as a threat

Fears abandonment and loneliness upon routine separation

Gives in order to get Selfish

Neglects other friendships and family members out of insecurity

Attempts to change the other


A good guide to evaluate your relationships